Social media overwhelming premature Relationships?!


We've been requested, recommended, instructed and coerced to limit the use of social networks. Although we know that Instagram and Facebook have totally sucked up our leisure time, but those memes are just so addictive and we can't just give up that privilege right? It's been so long since we've been listening to this rant about social media and how it affects our life in general, but never did we stop and think it's effect on our love life.

"Whatsapp? Addictive? No way! If anything, it has saved me from all the nagging due to my foot long phone bills."
"Daily exchange of memes and creating that snapchat streak with someone is the best way to stay in touch with people."
"Virtual intimacy is the only way to feel that physical stimulation in long distance relationships."

I've heard arguments like these by people who think that social media is not affecting their relationship at all. In actuality, all of us have grown so habitual of 'staying in touch' all the time with our partner that we usually turn a blind eye to the actual reason when something pensive happens in our relationship. Let's just simply face the reality here.

HIGHLY PROBABLE SCENARIOS!

TURNED INTO A RUT?

You talked to a person, You met them and finally, you liked them. What to do now? Thinking about sending a text? Cool. Send it. What could go wrong in a simple text right? Absolutely right! It's good that you're interested in them and wish to know them better, but there's a fine line of difference between sending a text and talking over texts entirely. You're still new to each other and so, have to talk about topics within a certain limit. The thing is, when you constantly chat with a person the whole day, sometimes, that excitement to have an actual conversation over a phone call at the end of a long tiring day, decreases! Also, there's a high chance that when you get comfortable with someone over texts exclusively, anxiety acts up inside of you when you actually call them up or you two meet and thus, the existence of the surly doubt, that you two can't even maintain a phone conversation together without it getting awkward. All you have to do to prevent all of this is keep yourself a little busy during the day so as to control your desire and excitement to talk and hence prevent that incessant chatting.


NOT EVEN A SECOND DATE?

Do you know what's the best part about the first kiss? It's not the kiss, infact, it's the build-up that precedes it! Similarly, this logic applies to the first date. When you decide to go out with someone for the first time, that excitement and nervousness are both important. You subconsciously judge whether the person was worth all the excitement and should or shouldn't be given the chance of a second one. So the aforementioned 'day-long' chatting and stalking might lead to the first date being a little predictable, while you were expecting it to be something of a new and stimulating experience. So to make it past the first date mark, all you gotta do is restrict yourself to not 'get to know' the person over social media, as that's supposed to happen on an actual date with that one-on-one contact element being present.

ALREADY MOVED IN TOGETHER?

It's good that you two like each other and wish to talk whenever you get a chance and so, you text each other constantly. But, when that 24x7 taking goes on for a long period of time, it can sometimes create a sense of already being in a relationship without even being ready for a commitment. A habit of their constant virtual presence is created in those initial days and if perchance, you're actually busy the whole day, the other person might get disappointed. And if they ask you about this, but still refuse to understand upon hearing a legit explanation, you start to feel a bit stifled. Hence, 'keeping in touch' unremittingly in the initial phase, may result in someone elevating their expectations way too much and way too soon. So, you have to take care to go at a pace that is comfortable to both of you and also develop a mutual understanding before getting overly attached to someone.

AM I GETTING IGNORED?

Can you guess the best and worst feature of any social media app? It's that 'last seen' and 'message read' functionality. Obviously, we are eager to receive a text from our beloved, but when that doesn't happen for quite a while, that eagerness renders us paranoid. This paranoia leads us to overthink even trivial things and hence, doubt and trust issues are gestated. These nascent thoughts lead to incessant stalking. Upon this happening, the only way to deal with it rationally and not let ego interfere is to keep the big brain of ours from overthinking. I know it's impossible sometimes, but keeping ourselves distrait can help us to some extent.


LET'S POST A PICTURE TOGETHER!

I once saw a guy repeatedly ask his girlfriend as to why her mood was upset. Hours later, the reply he got was that she had seen a friend's vacation post on Instagram which made her think that her life wasn't as gratifying. This lead to a fight and in the end, they were both rendered agitated. Clicking pictures is something we all do for creating memories and for sharing on social media, but in situations like these, when you are forced to compare your life to others' by just some random pictures on Instagram or Facebook, i.e basically a superficial comparison, a sense of incompleteness might creep up into you even when you have literally everything that makes you happy. For your partner, it may be an indication of low self-esteem and constant need for approval by others. What you can do is, be present in the moment and actually enjoy it while clicking the appropriate amount of pictures. Later, you can decide whether or not any of them is worth being posted anywhere.

By telling you all of this, I'm not suggesting that you cut off the social media usage altogether. Instead, just be aware of scenarios like these and don't let it absorb you to the extent where it starts affecting your ongoing or to-be relationship and you remain nothing but oblivious to it.

Post a Comment

10 Comments

  1. Are you undergoing this Mr.Varun?
    Anyway evinced splendidly❤️

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  2. My love for you grows more and more everytime i read your blog. And now i cant control myself to write this. I loved reading this one too. You have a good way of writing down life experiences. Would love to meet you someday. #Your secret admirer

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  3. This was a good read and yes WhatsApp is a lifesaver!

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  4. Interesting post! I've always thought that people rely a bit too much on social media today. I spoke briefly about this in my "About the Blog" section of my own blog, but it's wild to see ~5% of someone else's life on Facebook and say wow they have everything so together and I'm just kicking along.

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  5. Great post. I would think social media could affect relationships

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  6. I agree social media can give people a false sense of reality and can ruin relationships

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  7. social media can def affect relationships

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  8. This made me smile. I admit. I am married to probably the last person on this world who doesn't have FB, doesn't know what twitting is, and barely uses an email, so social media was not part of our start. But like everything it has its advantages and disadvantages. This was a fun post!
    Madi
    https://madidearson.com/

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  9. I'm single (and have been for a long time!) so I totally agree with a lot of these! While I do think some parts of technology help (like people that meet a spouse from a dating app!), it definitely has negatives too.

    xoxo A
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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  10. I have been single for over a decade. And actually I don’t think I was ever In a real relationship even with the father of my kids. Thank you for this post!!! Sharing sharing sharing!!

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