Developed a little CRUSH on someone?


Having a crush on someone is subjective to each individual. While some people don't believe in the concept of crushes at all, there are some out there who develop a new crush every week.
You must've read and researched about a hundred ways to impress your crush, but here, let's analyze a few important things about crushes first!


HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A CRUSH AND NOT SOMETHING ELSE?

Generally getting attracted to someone physically, is known as having a crush. But it isn't that simple. Sometimes, a normal human brain, being hardwired for denial mostly, refuses to accept that someone has infatuated you. Often this subconscious resentment doesn't remain internal for long. Your mind presents you with a solution and that is to tick them off so that there is some kind of repulsion between the two of you. That's why people tend to frequently bicker with them, or just constantly complain about them to someone else. Often, you'd find yourself doing things to annoy them a little and even get upset when they don't revert back. These innocent fights can be a sign that you just want their attention but don't find any other means to do so because of the inner resentment to accept that simple little fact. So if you find yourself in any of these situations, I suggest that you at least recognize the infatuation before you nark them to the point where it's all doomed.

Now this admiration, besides being physical, can also be emotional or even intellectual. For these two cases, i.e, when you like a person for their personality in general, there further might be two possibilities. The first one is when you like them prior to having much communication or a bond, and hence judge them without a biased opinion i.e, like "everyone else". This also is called a mere crush. But for the other scenario, where you already have an established bond of some sort and see some kind of, conscious or subconscious, reciprocation of attraction from their side, then you start liking them for who they are WITH YOU and how they treat you specifically, i.e, not like "everyone else", it is suffice to say that you've started to develop some sort of LIKING towards them.



The worst case can come into picture when this crush or liking, transmutates itself into OBSESSION. That obsession is clearly visible to the other person in the form of desperation, which results in distancing the two of you further apart. I know I said that it is good to put away your ego and sometimes your self-respect too, but that should be done for someone that you are in love with and you've been together for a quite significant time, and not just someone who you are trying to impress. This normally leads to incessant stalking and needy behavior which is bound to have a negative impact.

WHY DO WE GENERALLY HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE OUT OF OUR LEAGUE?

Well, defining "OUR" league and admitting this thing can be a little demeaning, but most of us can relate to this. The basic reason for this is that we want something we've been deprived off, while our brain looks for traits in partners that can either complement our foibles or accentuate them. For example, a guy would be always attracted to a girl who is normally paired up with a better guy than himself. Hence, out of his league. On the contrary, a person, let's say a girl, who is emotional and sensitive can also be attracted to a guy who is sensitive towards her in front of everyone and hence accentuates that attitude in her. Thus, a person would always want to be with someone who is kind of difficult to win over by him/ her.

WHY DOES THE FREQUENCY OF HAVING A CRUSH VARY IN PEOPLE?

HOPE is the answer here. The very basic fact is that you'll have a crush on someone till there's even a tiny shred of hope alive inside you shrieking that you have a chance with them in the near future. This way, the people who have a crush for a very long period of time, are optimistic and don't give up trying for them to be together. On the contrary, there are some people who quickly realize that there is no chance of them being a couple and hence give up altogether. They lack hope in this scenario and let's call them 'less optimistic' as sometimes this isn't a bad thing to agnize after all.



WHY IS IT SO HARD TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP?

Friend: What's the worst that could happen if you go and talk to her?
Me(Sarcastic): She could HEAR me.

Generally in situations like these, people find it very difficult to initiate any form of communication with their crush. The reason behind is known commonly as 'fear of being rejected'. But that doesn't just imply that you getting rejected would hurt your ego. The other connotation is the fear of bursting your imaginary bubble which you've created in your mind where everything is perfect. Your crush hasn't rejected you and is still the ideal wanna-have person for you. This ideal fictitious world, where your ego isn't hurt yet and the possibility of you two ending up together still persists, prevents you from going over to them and confessing your feelings or saying even a simple 'Hi'.

THE BASIC DO'S AND DON'TS

I think that you have enough insights about a 'crush' and now obviously you want to impress them. So let's quickly go over a few basic predefined rules to make that happen.
The very first thing that you have to take care of is the ICE-BREAKER. Just go up straight and say a simple 'Hi'. If you can't slip up a paean after it, just find a topic of conversation that will pique their interest. The point to remember here is that you have to EVINCE CONFIDENCE. Having a smile on your face along with a nice and smart outfit is sure to aid in the said point. What scathes your first impression is when you portray a sense of desperation. You have to subtly show that you are attracted to them and for that, let them know that you did your little homework by inserting some benign compliments in the conversation pertaining to them and their life. Although, this kind of flirting becomes harmful when you show them that you've literally stalked them on the social media profiles. I strongly suggest you to refrain yourself from doing so and never let even your subconscious mind turn them or anyone into your obsession as it would have perverse repercussions, as discussed above.

Now, if you actually have a crush on someone, all you got to do is bust the myth, 'crushes are meant to remain crushes forever because it's almost impossible to initiate things with them'.

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4 Comments

  1. Developing a crush every week seems so relatable😂

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  2. haha so funny! I always have the hardest time taking the first step

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