"Was it meant to be?"

                    

This is a question that people wonder about a lot. Lucky are those who never stumble upon this thought. Cause usually, this line is uttered in the context of a break- up. Either you've been through one or it is impending and you're thinking of this as your justification. The other case is when that one-sided love happens....
Let's discuss both of those scenarios here.


In the hope of a relationship

This is actually not a very good situation to be in. In this case, it's the hope that doesn't die, which needs to. You have strong feelings for someone and either he/ she doesn't feel the same way or the circumstances don't support it. In this case, you actually have to convince yourself that it wasn't meant to be because you have no other way to truly move on. You might try and do everything in your power to let go of those feelings but unless and until you accept the situation and convince yourself that it isn't gonna happen, you'd always end up letting those feelings get in the way of your other relationships. You just have to give yourself some time and some distance from him/ her cause always remaining in the same close proximity isn't gonna let you diminish your feelings.


In the context of break- up

When the statement is implicit Sometimes the relationship is going well, sometimes you are actually at a point in your relationship, in your life, where you can imagine the future with your partner. You begin to stay blithe. And then suddenly, bam! Out of nowhere and "certain" reasons, the relationship ends. No matter how much of a soothsayer you are, you can't predict the end that your relationship went through. 

It's not your partner's fault and certainly not your's. But that's the thing, it still ended. You are hit by the sudden turn of events and start feeling bad in this instance. Now you know that you gotta recuperate somehow, but don't know the way. At this point of time, you start repeating to yourself that it wasn't meant to be and gradually start believing it. It happens cause the human mind has the need to subconsciously find a reason and logic for everything. It needs a reason for this breakup. Since, neither you nor your partner are responsible, it finds the fate to be at fault. This implies that the universe didn't want this relationship to work and hence, it wasn't meant to be. When the statement is explicit The second case is when the relationship isn't serious and one of you think it's time to break it off, but find no good reason to do so. This happens when you start feeling that you are not happy in the relationship for no apparent reason. It's actually ineffable. Now you have two options, either keep trying or give it up as soon as you feel this. Either way, in the end, you decide that it's not gonna work no matter the input. But you can't just up and say this and finish everything. You gotta say something right! Hence the statement "it wasn't meant to be".
Now that we've discussed the situations where we utter and have to accept that it wasn't meant to be, let's see the some of the Reasons that lead to the break- up!


For starters, when the relationship is the long distance one, it is difficult to maintain it. The reason behind it is the physical intimacy being snatched away from the relationship. For most people, it's a deal breaker, cause a normal human being is bound to crave that sexual gratification at one point or the other. Now add time zones, different work environment, different priorities in life, peer pressure and all such factors to this equation. All of these lead to a communication gap as well and soon follows the ugly end of the relationship. The key thing to remember is that if you really love your partner, it is worth to spend a little time without that physical pleasure as in the end, 

he/ she might turn out to be worth saving yourself from others. Also, little surprise meetings with each other in between are the best, if possible. And believe me, if the bond is really strong and you both already know each other's worth in your respective lives, the communication problem won't last long. Both of you would know exactly how and what to do to make each other happy and not let anyone lose hope at all. In all the other cases, something like ego or lack of will may end up creating distance between the two of you.

But there's also a possibility of both of you being at different levels in a relationship. For example, when the intensity and quantity of the physical intimacy declines a bit, you on one hand, might think that the relationship is getting more real and you're thinking about saying the love word while your partner might be getting bored out of the 'more talking' phase and already thinking about ending this fling. Something like this can have a horrible turnout and you might end up getting hurt. Because of this, it is necessary to not overthink any situation which in turn, would automatically control the over expectations. Plus, daydreaming also has to be prevented. Hence, communicating with your partner and being clear about each and everything is therefore necessary and beneficial.

Sometimes, the scenario is totally opposite. It feels as if everything is going well. The sex is great, you communicate properly and yet the relationship ends up failing. This happens because the relationship is sometimes just superficial. You do everything as you should, every step for the perfect relationship is carried out, but the heart just isn't in it. You do cause you have to... maybe because you don't wanna back out of the commitment you made to your partner or you don't wanna hurt your partner or you are scared of being alone after the break- up or any of the thousand other reasons. 

But it just doesn't click anymore. Subconsciously you know that he/ she isn't the one. It's just matter of time till you accept the fact and start to move on. The more you delay, deeper would be the impact of the break- up on both of you cause no matter the absence of feelings, still you are habitual of the person being there in your daily life. There's also the case of a break- up due to the intervention of fate. The circumstances are so created that you have no option but to part ways. For example, family norms forbid relationships or certain types of marriages in which case you know that you can't be together, either now or the future. 

This leads to subconscious acceptance of the fact that no matter what, it isn't meant to be and thus the will to make it work starts depreciating. Sometimes, financial problems also become one of the factors in a break- up. But in such cases, where you think that the universe doesn't want you together, all you gotta do is put your 100% and show your partner that you are willing to go the lengths when it comes to making your relationship survive. That is both, enough and essential as it does not let the other person give up too.

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8 Comments

  1. I simply have no words to tell u that these lines that u've written are so damn realistic and these are the situations that people actually face in their lives..Simply "AWESOME"...hats off to the way u've expressed these situations so very beautifully....👌

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  2. Hey, loved your writing and I feel we have similar blogs. Got to you via Facebook and lucky to be here

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  3. This is so true. my first boyfriend said our breakup was "mean't to be".

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  4. Omg ..this is so relatable..i believe that certain things are 'meant to be' n certain things which will happen are 'meant to be'.
    I am in love with ur blog... please keep posting more...it feels connected ❤

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  5. It seems life has taught you well! When a thing breaks - we don't throw it out - we fix it.

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  6. Thank you! from your venter on blahtherapy

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  7. "This happens because the relationship is sometimes just superficial"
    I relate to this sentence. I have already thought pf this part.
    This whole article is quite good, what I liked about it most is you way of analyzing things.
    Waiting for more.

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